Costume Contest
by Sohotthateveryonedied
Summary: The Batfamily hosts a Halloween party with a costume contest and a 3,000 prize.


"Dami, you can't hide up there all day. At some point you're gonna have to show us your costume!", Dick Grayson yelled up the stairs to his youngest and most stubborn brother. He had spent the last ten minutes at the base if the staircase trying to convince him to come downstairs and show off his Halloween costume to no avail.

"Grayson, I would sooner be strung up by my thumbs over a boiling vat of acid", Damian snapped from upstairs. He knew he shouldn't have permitted his extravagant brother to select his costume, but it was too late to find a replacement now. He settled for waiting in his room until the night was over, as the zipper had gotten stuck and he couldn't get out of it without assistance.

Damian normally would never be caught dead in something as humiliating as a Halloween costume, but he wanted to win the Wayne family costume contest as much as everyone else did this year. He just didn't think Grayson would choose to force him into this one.

"Damian, c'mon! Tim and Jason are going to be here any minute and you need to be here for when everyone else comes. Remember Colin? He's going to be bored and all alone without you." When no answer was heard from upstairs Dick finally threw his hands up in the air, having tried everything.

At that moment Jason Todd and Tim Drake conveniently walked in, Dick not having heard the front door open over all of his yelling. The two brothers entered the room, both in their Halloween costumes.

Tim had altered his hair into a messy fashion and had on a red and yellow jacket with a black t-shirt and black jeans under it. Jason, meanwhile, was in his usual clothing: his leather jacket and a gun or two no doubt hidden underneath it.

Dick approached his brothers and gave them each a hug in greeting. It had been a while since he'd seen the pair. "Hey, guys. Jason, where's your costume?"

Tim made a face and shook his head pitifully. "I knew this would happen", he muttered to no one in particular.

Jason, on the other hand, smiled smugly. "I'm a zombie", he answered proudly, putting his hands on his hips and beaming. It took Dick a minute to understand, but when he did he looked just as disappointed at their brother as Tim had.

"Jason, what have I told you about making jokes about your death? You're going to make Bruce cry again."

"Well, sorry if you're intimidated by my cleverness. You're just jealous that I'm going to win the costume contest. Speaking of, where is the rest of the family?", Jason asked.

Dick jerked a thumb behind him towards the ballroom. "They just finished setting up for the party."

Yes, the Wayne family was indeed having a Halloween party. It had been all Dick's idea, and he managed to convince everyone else to attend solely for the costume contest. Not because it was fun or because anyone besides himself really cared, but because the prize for the winner was $3,000 he had stolen from Bruce. So they had invited all of their closest friends and family, and everyone who was attending had planned on taking it very seriously.

They made their way to the ballroom, Dick asking who Tim was supposed to be.

"I'm Keith Kogane from Voltron: Legendary Defender." He shrugged. "Steph told me I had the right look for it and I have to admit, we do have a lot in common."

Dick clapped him on the shoulder and laughed at his little brother's incredible level of nerdage.

When they made it to the ballroom they found it to be far more extravagant than they had expected. The large room had been thoroughly decorated for the party, orange and black streamers hanging from the ceiling and mist swirling around on the floor. A wide table took up the entire left wall and a stereo system sat on the opposite side. Dick's philosophy had always been go big or go home. And he's already home, so there's no choice but to go as big as possible.

As Dick had reported, the whole family was already there, having finished setting up just minutes ago. Bruce and Selina had coordinated their costumes and dressed up as Morticia and Gomez Addams from the Addams' Family. Barbara rested in her wheelchair next to the couch where Stephanie and Cass sat, and Alfred was puttering around in his usual butler uniform. He wasn't planning on showing off his costume until the voting for some reason.

"You guys made it!", Selina rejoiced as she ran over to embrace her kittens. It had been uncertain if they would make it back fort he party, as Red Hood and Red Robin had been working together on a case for the last few weeks and weren't sure if they would finish in time. Luckily they had caught the criminal just hours earlier and were able to return home.

"Yeah, just got in", Tim answered. It was then his eye caught sight of Steph and he started over to the couch while Selina chattered happily to Jason about anything and everything that's happened in their absence.

Steph jumped up to hug her boyfriend. "Tim, you look awesome! I told you you'd make a great Keith."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Whatever, it's your fault I got into the show. Anyway, what are you supposed to be?"

Stephanie grabbed the edges of her red leather jacket. "Isn't it obvious? I'm Emma Swan", she answered.

"Ah. You make one hot savior", he complimented her. He turned to his sister. "And Cass, who are you?"

Cassandra wore a Chinese style dress and a cherry blossom in her hair. "Mulan."

"Cool, you look great."

Cass nodded in thanks and gestured to Barbara. "Sandra Dee."

Recognition flashed on Tim's face. "Oh, I was wondering what the sixties clothes were from."

Barbara nodded modestly and said, "Yeah, Dick and I actually did a couples costume this year. He's Danny Zuko."

Tim thought his brother's costume looked familiar. His eyes swept the decorated room once more. "Are Kon and Bart here yet?", he wondered.

Dick approached them then, having finished his job of putting out the pumpkin spice cupcakes Alfred had baked for the occasion. "They called right before you came and said they were a few minutes out. They should be here a little after Roy and Kori arrive", he answered.

"Anyone else coming?"

"I invited Wally, so he and Artemis will both be here. Bruce invited most of the Leaguers, but I doubt all of them will attend. They're still pretty scared of him. And Damian invited Colin, that Abuse kid. I kind of hope he comes soon, maybe he could convince Dami to finally come downstairs. He's being pretty stubborn about the whole costume thing."

Barbara swatted him lightly. "It's your own fault, you know. I told you he wouldn't like the costume you picked out for him, but you insisted and now here we are." She crossed her arms.

Dick was prepared to defend himself, but the doorbell rang before he could get the chance. Alfred was already walking briskly in the direction of the front door, and Dick quickly followed, abandoning his previous conversation. He swept back the hair that continued to hang in his face despite the massive amounts of hair spray he had applied earlier.

Alfred approached the door, Dick leaning excitedly over his shoulder to greet their guests. Alfred pulled it open to reveal Wally, Artemis, Roy, Kori, and Colin.

"Colin, you're here, perfect. Come with me", Dick commanded as he grabbed the shocked ten year-old's arm and pulled him into the house. He dragged the confused child behind him as he ran up the stairs to Damian's room.

"Hey, Damian!", he yelled as he pounded the door loudly. "Colin's here, come out and say hi."

Damian's muffled voice sounded through the wood, "I don't care. Nothing you can do will make me voluntarily humiliate myself in front of everyone, so stop trying!"

Colin cocked his head in question. "Why won't he come out?", he asked, his eyes still fixed on the closed door.

Dick sighed, clearly beginning to regret his decision. "I picked out his costume this year and he refuses to show everyone."

Colin thought for a moment and then smiled slyly. "I've got this." He walked up to the door and politely knocked. "Hey, Damian", he called, waiting until he heard him respond.

"What do you want, Wilkes?"

Colin raised an eyebrow. "I have a kitten out here. Come out and see it." Dick snapped his head up at Colin's words, an evil smile growing as he realized the boy's clever tactic. His brother only had one weakness: Animals.

"Tt. No you don't", Damian answered, though his voice sounded uncertain.

"Are you sure about that?"

There was silence for about a minute until the click of a door being unlocked was heard. Damian tentatively peaked his head out and upon seeing no cat anywhere in the hallway attempted to close his door again. Dick threw his body against the door before he could, though, and he quickly dragged Damian out until he was fully visible.

Colin started cracking up, tears spilling out from his eyes as he laughed at his friend's adorable blue costume. Knowing the jig was up, Damian crossed his arms and tried to express what little dignity he had left. "Hello, Wilkes. What are you supposed to be? A supervillain?", he inquired as he gestured to his best friend's high collared black cape and fake blood dripping from his lips.

Colin's laughter died down and he opened his mouth to reveal plastic fangs. "I'm a vampire, see?", he answered proudly. "You like it, Dami?"

Dick was surprised Damian didn't chew his friend out for using the affectionate nickname that was usually reserved only for family. "I am overwhelmed by the creativity." Damian rolled his eyes, but Colin knew he was just faking the disinterest.

"Well, it's nothing compared to yours, Dami. Let's go show everyone!", Colin suggested as he grabbed Damian's arm and led him down the stairs to the party room, Dick following. Surprisingly Damian was unable to break Colin's grip on him– he suspected he was using his Abuse powers slightly.

Damian dragged his feet the entire way but couldn't stop Colin as they entered the room, all eyes immediately on them. Everyone had been wondering the whole day just what the ten year-old's supposedly humiliating costume was.

There was silence, followed by peals of laughter ringing all around the room. Damian's face turned red and he crossed his arms, scowling. Apparently dignity was not an option at the moment. His angry face just made them all laugh harder. It was hard to appear intimidating when you were dressed up in a ridiculous blue Stitch costume. He had only seen Lilo and Stitch once, but it was one of Dick's favorite Disney movies. He wasn't all that surprised when he bought him this little number and forced him to wear it to the party. It even came with a hood with ears on it.

His scowl deepened as he saw Grayson's friend, Wally West, approaching him. He and Artemis both cackled at his attire. "Kid, you are the cutest thing I've seen today. You need a Nobel prize or something", Wally said in between fits of giggles.

"Well, at least I don't look like a peasant like you, West", the current Robin snapped back.

Dick swatted him on the head from behind. "Dami, you be nice to Wally", he scolded. He turned his focus to his best friend. "Wall-man, you guys made it. And you are..?"

Artemis smiled. "I'm Rapunzel and he's Flynn Rider." She pulled her long blonde hair over her shoulder in emphasis.

Damian took advantage of the distraction to direct Colin to the living room connected to the ballroom where they could play video games out of sight.

Dick, Wally, and Artemis talked some more but were soon interrupted.

"Hey, Zuko!", a familiar voice called across the room. Dick looked up and found Roy and Kori approaching him. Artemis took the hint and turned back to her boyfriend, "Come on, Baywatch. I'm thirsty", she said as they walked over to the table where the sodas were located.

"Hey Roy, Kori. Nice costumes", he complimented his friends. Though they were more of Jason's friends now, but still. Roy was clad in a green tunic and his usual bow and quiver, while Koriand'r wore a beautiful gown of pink with a flowing headdress. "Are you Green Arrow?"

Roy shook his head. "No man, Robin Hood and Maid Marian. But I am not here to talk about our creative attire that will no doubt win us the hefty prize. Why isn't Jaybird wearing a costume? He told us he had this awesome thing planned, and then he shows up in regular clothes and tells me he's supposed to be a zombie."

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and gave a tired sigh. "He's trying to be clever and fulfill his apparent goal of reminding everyone he knows of the fact that he died once", he muttered, disappointment clear in his tone.

Shock flashed on Roy's face. "He- Wha-….. Aw hELL NO!", he hollered as he marched over to Jason.

Jason had been conversing with his sister about her Mulan costume when Roy suddenly marched up to him and slapped him in the face. "You had one job. Just give us one day where you don't incessantly remind us that you died that one time, and this is what I get? YOU HAD ONE JOB."

Jason shrugged nonchalantly. "Would you rather have me dress up as the Joker? Because I could do that, you know. I feel like you're getting the better deal here", he replied and took a sip of his beer. Roy facepalmed.

Tim stood innocently by watching this all go down. He wondered where Kon and Bart were as he looked away from the arguing friends and instead at the clock. He normally wouldn't care so much, except that there was going to be lots of candy and sugar at this party and he didn't trust Bart to not immediately consume it all the second he got into the house.

His thoughts were interrupted when a window crashed and two newcomers entered through it. Conner Kent and Bart Allen had apparently wanted to make an entrance, and they certainly succeeded, as they now had the attention of the whole room.

"Hey, party people!", Kon crowed. He wore a printed sweater vest, a varsity jacket, and white oxfords. A pair of sunglasses rested on his head. Bart wore a Manchester Junior High letterman jacket and fur on his face, no doubt some kind of werewolf.

"Dude! What are you guys trying to do, give Alfred a heart attack?", Tim scolded when his rambunctious friends strutted up to him.

Kon put his sunglasses over his eyes and smiled smugly. "Sorry, but this outfit needed to receive the attention it deserves." By then everyone had realized that it was just Tim's juvenile teammates and not a crazy supervillain so they turned back to their previous activities, ignoring the pile of broken glass on the floor.

"Who are you?", Tim asked. Kon gaped.

"Hello! I'm Ferris Beuller. From Ferris Beuller's day off?"

Tim nodded, having seen that movie countless times. "Sweet. And you're a werewolf?", he asked Bart.

"Kind of, I'm Teen Wolf. The Michael Fox version, not that girly new TV show. And are you supposed to be that guy from that cartoon you and Steph keep bothering us about? You really need to get out of the house more."

"You do realize I have a fake sword with me, right? I could kill you with it just as easily as with a real one, so don't test me", he threatened, only half serious.

The next few hours continued much like that, more and more guests coming. Leslie came as a doctor from some old soap opera, an inside joke that Alfred apparently found hilarious. Helena came as a cat, Harper as Katniss Everdeen, Cullen as a pirate, and Kate as a police officer.

Even some of the Justice League attended: Wonder Woman as Persephone, Black Canary as Green Arrow and vice versa, Flash as a mummy, and Martian Manhunter kept changing his form to match everyone he talked to.

After most of the invited guests had arrived it had been a pretty fun party. There was good music, refreshments, and plenty of alcohol. Fun. Or at least until Hal Jordon arrived.

He was escorted in by Alfred, and the second he entered a conversations came to a halt. For Hal Jordon, one of Earth's brave Green Lanterns, had worn the same Danny Zuko costume as one Dick Grayson.

Dick could feel something in the air, so he turned around and glared when he saw Hal wearing the same attire as he. He marched up to the man and ordered, "Nope. Nope, not going to happen. Go home and change. I swear to God I will hit you right here right now."

Poor Hal then made the mistake of challenging the acrobat. "Oh, really? Why should I change? You're the one who lives here, you go change. I'm sure you can find another costume somewhere", he smirked.

"There can only be one Danny Zuko at this party and it's me."

"Wow, you're supposed to be Danny Zuko? I was under the impression you were just a really crappy Elvis", the Green Lantern taunted.

That sparked a bout of yelling and ordering of the other to change. The rest of the guests had gathered around in a circle, hoping to see a fight and making bets. It took a few minutes, but Hal soon made the fatal mistake of calling Dick's costume "mediocre", and was met with a swift punch to the face.

The fight escalated until Bruce and Barry had to intervene, grabbing the two men before someone got hurt too badly. Dick struggled against his father's grasp before finally giving in and relaxing. "Okay! Okay. I'm fine. I'm calm. You can let go of me now, Bruce." Bruce obeyed and Dick began to walk away. But at the last second he grabbed an empty glass bottle off the refreshment table and chucked it so it shattered on Hal's head, effectively knocking him out.

Dick dusted his hands off in satisfaction, going back to what he was doing before as if the whole situation had never happened. Everyone else stood confused, unsure of what to do with an unconscious Hal Jordon. Barry soon grew tired of holding him up and dropped the man on the floor like a sack of potatoes.

….

Two hours later and the voting for the costume contest was about to begin. Hal was currently lying under the refreshment table with Titus, (who Damian had dressed up as Robin earlier in the day), sleeping and drooling on his chest.

Dick stood at the front of the room with an old Bat cowl turned upside down in his hands. He'd originally planned on having a microphone for no purpose other than theatricality but alas, Stephanie and Barbara had been using it for some karaoke the previous night that escalated to his favorite toy being thrown at the wall and shattered. It now sat in pieces on Dick's desk as he mourned his loss.

So instead he was stuck using an escrima stick for his microphone. "Okay, guys, it's pretty simple. We're going to hold a write-in vote for the best costume because we are a democracy in this house. Write anonymously on a slip of paper who you believe has the best costume of the night and put in in the hat," he held up the cowl, "when you're done. No voting for yourselves because that's gauche, and no voting more than once because that is also gauche."

"YOUR MOMMA'S GAUCHE!"

"I SWEAR TO GOD WALLY I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT, DO NOT TEST ME! Anyways, have fun voting, guys." He dropped his escrima stick and placed the cowl on a nearby table next to the many pieces of paper Alfred had brought in.

Speaking of whom, where was Alfred? He was supposedly about to change into his costume ten minutes ago, but neither Dick nor anyone else had scene the old butler since.

Rather than fretting, Dick focused on what was going on around him, listening in on conversations to see if anyone was going to vote for him. He really wanted to win, as he wasn't too excited at the thought of losing three grand all at once like that. So far he'd mostly heard compliments on Kori, Steph, and Green Arrow in all of his fishnet-stockinged glory. People appeared to find Jason's zombie idea clever, but more boring than anything.

Dick eventually decided to vote for Babs as Sandy and walked over to the table so he could write in his vote. Bruce and Clark were already there writing in theirs.

"Who are you voting for, B?", said hero's son asked as he wrote his own vote in fancy script.

"Damian. He told me if I don't he'll set a fire in the bathroom", Bruce explained, getting an odd but ultimately unsurprised look from Dick. "You?"

"Babs. She looks hot but isn't too much competition." Dick's eyes swept the room one more time. "You see Alfred? He's going to miss the voting and announcement of who the winner is." His watch beeped, reminding him that it was time to count the votes.

He swiftly collected the cowl, making sure everyone had submitted their vote. Shortly after he made sure every ballot was in the hat he brought it back to the front of the room to begin the counting. It didn't take too long. He was awfully surprised to find that he didn't win, but spoke into his "microphone" with a grin nonetheless.

"Ladies and gentlemen. I have counted up all of your votes and am pleased to announce that the winner is…"

He was about to say the name of the winner but was rudely interrupted by the harsh slamming of the ballroom door. And there, in all his British glory, stood Alfred Pennyworth, aka Batman.

He wore Bruce's current batsuit looking equally hilarious and intimidating. He stood with a dark presence, his fists on his hips and a perfect scowl on his face. If not for the telltale wrinkles and size difference, the guests would not have been able to tell that it was the Batfamily's loyal butler and not the actual dark knight standing before them.

Breaking the awed silence he growled in the British version of the deep voice the Bat is known for.

"I'm Batman."

Dick, knowing that nobody could possibly top that threw his collection of ballots to the ground, his face forming a discouraged pout. He looked up at the expectant audience, sighed, and muttered in a defeated tone, "Okay, fine. Anyone want to change their vote?"

Every single hand in the room went up.


End file.
